The beginning has to begin somewhere and this is where it will begin for me, on a cold winter night with little light to expose the brilliance of the evening and more than enough snow to create a lake if the weather turned right. The children are in the backyard with our small dog, playing, hopping, digging in the snow, crowding each other with their ideas of play. I sit here and contemplate the few moments before this and know I am stepping forward, though the stability of my step falters and it feels like I'm stepping on air.
There are no guarantees in this world even though I may periodically demand them and even with a compelling demand I will not receive. I have my effort to put forth and the outcome of my effort will never be held by me. I battle against this, wanting to control my outcome, play the chess pieces just right, direct the show to my liking, the show being my life and yet what I get is the opportunity to participate in it and witness it. I do not get to control the results of it.
Today is one of many surrenders to what is, which seems to open me to the possibilities of what could be, so this is where I begin.
This is where I begin, on a cold winter morning, reading the inspirational words of my dear friend Catherine. Today I will strive for balance and serenity and remember to "participate in" and "witness" my life. Not control it.
ReplyDeleteTaking that first step is always and must be a solitary action... but the one taking it isn't really alone. I'm excited to have the opportunity to witness your courage and growth... once again.
ReplyDeleteEL